I just made out with a guy for $7.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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