He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
