In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize