After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
