I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Your penis caused this!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
