Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
ugly people sure do ruin things
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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