so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize