# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you inspire me to be a worse person
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
