Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
