I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
