I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
