The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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