Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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