I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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