Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
