Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
