the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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