I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize