She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the condom got lost in my hair
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
