That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
