how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She's the barista slut.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
