wrigley field is MILF paradise
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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