The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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