Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
