meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
