How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
