my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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