i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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