Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
