I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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