Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
