What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
