Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize