there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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