Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
