You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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