im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
