Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
