this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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