saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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