I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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