Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
40s are totally the cure
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
