I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
