piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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