im holly from the hills drunk
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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