So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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