This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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