Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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