man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
