My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
