Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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