He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
