Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
