sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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