first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
