At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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