I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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