and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
