No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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