The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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