I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
